The Lord of the Plants and All His Bad Luck
by Najio
Summary: Green is a peculiar kid. He can talk to plants, has no memory of before he was twelve, and he can't even talk to express his frustration! Thankfully, he's found friends in people like Percy Jackson, and Thalia in pine tree form. But when someone poisons Thalia's tree, the Lord of Plants may have to take things into his own hands. Sequel to "Percy Jackson and the Kid he Ran Over.
1. Pointing Fingers

**It wouldn't fit before, but that wonderful summary is by SkinOfInk! Thanks, because the one I wrote... let us never speak of it again.**

**K, I'm not really going to bother recapping for people who haven't read the first one, Percy Jackson and the Kid He Ran Over, so just know that the main character is Green, the mute kid who can talk to plants, and that you should probably wait to read this until you know what's going on!**

**DISCLAIMER: If I were Rick Riordan, MoA would not have cliffhung like that! :P**

* * *

Green eyes, wide open in the soft hours right before dawn, gazed out into the blackness. Their owner let his hand tangle in the leaves of the small shrub, possibly a bonsai, which grew next to his bed. Demeter Cabin was full of plants, from wheat to barley, all in neat rows and _infuriatingly _polite. The longing grew in him again, to climb right out the window and find someone to talk to. He needed to talk to the maple. Yesterday, he'd asked it what he should call it, because 'the maple' just sounded… dumb. It had told him to call it Greg.

Sighing, Green sat up, his solemn expression cracking into a grin at the thought of… Greg. Could he- no. He _needed _sleep, the others were starting to notice the bags under his eyes. The humans, who he couldn't talk to because he had some kind of mental block or something, who probably wouldn't understand him if he tried to mime whatever it was that kept him up at night. Even better, he could just sneak off into the woods, after a quick chat with Thalia, the once human pine tree, and climb into some old cedar. The old trees would sing to him, a strange and somehow alien melody that eased him into his dreams softer than anything from an animal's throat.

But he couldn't, because then people would notice he'd snuck off again, and they'd give him that suspicious look, and he couldn't explain. So, he lay back and closed his eyes. It took a long while, tossing and turning all the way, for him to fall asleep.

LINEBREAK

Morning light streamed through the window, and a quiet nudging vibrated up through the leaves that still entangled his outstretched hand. Green's eyes opened slowly, still gummed with sleep. Rising, he blinked twice then bolted out the door, sprinting up the hill towards the lone pine, Thalia.

When he arrived, he stared uncomprehendingly for a second, and then rushed forward. Once a rich emerald, the thin leaves of Thalia's tree were a dry red, like rust. Sap dripped slowly from a hole in her trunk, and even as he watched more needles tumbled to the ground. Rushing forward, Green pressed his hand against the trunk, hoping against hope…

_THALIA!_ In his mind, his voice rose to a shriek, all the fear he couldn't set free coursing down his arm.

_Green? _ Her voice was soft and hesitant, and dry as sandpaper.

_What happened? _He asked, trying to keep the panic down. Tears started burning in the corners of his eyes.

_Poison, Luke, get Chiron._ She'd barely finished before he sprinted full out towards the big house, nearly bowling over several campers. One of them, probably from Ares, started cussing him out but he was too scared to care.

When he reached the door, he hammered on it hard enough to make his knuckles bleed a little, which snapped him out of his blind panic. Chiron opened the door in centaur form, and rather than waste time with a game of charades Green just grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the hill.

"Green, what- I see," he said, and called out to the dryads and satyrs. "Come! Thalia's tree has been poisoned!"

Once again, Green laid a hand gently on the trunk, not caring that his skin was all sticky from the sap.

_Thalia? _He asked, afraid he wouldn't get an answer.

_Camp,_ she said, _borders… not… stable._

Ripping a scrap of paper out of his pocket, and pulling a pen- pencils always felt a bit like cannibalism to him. So did paper, but he didn't know how to replace that- out from behind his ear. Scribbling as fast as he could, he wrote 'Borderz not staybel.' Looking at it, he winced. Spelling was not his strong suit. Still, it was better than nothing, so he handed it to Chiron.

The old centaur said gravely, "Green is right," yep, it was _totally _his idea, "our borders may soon fail without the tree. We must organize a patrol." Yeah, the poor camp, poor borders, but Thalia was _dying_, couldn't they do something? The look on his face must have shown some of what he was feeling, because he heard a voice behind him.

"Worried about your precious picnic spot, pretty boy?" Clarisse. He _so_ didn't need this right now. "You know, it's pretty suspicious how often you sneak off to sit over there." Great, of all the times for her to play detective… Green turned to face her, which was probably a bad idea. "Yeah," she continued, "I bet _he _poisoned it!" Thalia, he wanted to say, was not an it.

"Clarisse," Chiron warned, but he sounded… unsure. Like he doubted Green's innocence too but didn't want to cause a riot. Resentment, Green knew, was probably the whole reason why Kronos had attacked his father, why Luke had betrayed his, but right then he didn't care. A hot ball of anger was welling up in the pit of his stomach as he glared at the ugly daughter of Ares.

"Hey, looks like someone isn't too happy with me," she jeered. "Don't like me ratting you out, do you, _traitor_?" If he didn't scream soon, Green was just going to burst, pop like an overcooked hot dog over the campfire. He needed to vent, to do _something _to stop the burning in his insides, like they were full of molten lead. The edges of his vision were getting blurry and red.

"D-do you really think so?" Asked some kid from Demeter, a guy named Erin. He was about eight, and he practically worshipped everyone older than him. Green had thought of him as a little brother, and now this. Was he really _this_ untrustworthy? No one would accuse Percy like that, and he'd been around just as long.

"'Course," Clarisse said. "He's working for Luke, that's why he wanted to go on that quest so bad!" What came next hadn't really gone through Green's brain first. It came straight from the blazing anger in his gut and bypassed all the reasonable, sane parts of him, and without really planning to Green leaned back and socked Clarisse la Rue right in her beady eyes.


	2. The Human Torch

**I know, I took forever again... sowwy. But here it is, chapter 2! TA DA! :D So, anyone want to submit a summary? I'll give you credit and stuff! Just keep it a little shorter than the character limit, so I can fit your name! :P (I can't summary)**

**DISCLAIMER: Clearly, I am not Rick Riordan. He writes way better than this! L:P**

* * *

In the movies, dramatic things weren't allowed to happen unless it was raining, or snowing, or something. Still, even though the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and a gentle breeze was chattering through the trees, there were two very angry bronze bulls attacking the camp. Green, for his part, was banging on their metal flanks with a stick and not doing much good, while simultaneously trying not to get barbecued. Even worse than the bulls, Clarisse was on the hill as well, and she was probably angrier than the fire breathing automatons that seemed not to care about the camp borders all that much. The daughter of Ares being furious might have had something to do with the magnificent shiner he'd given her, and if she could get away with it she'd probably have stabbed him by now. Just another day.

Bull number one decided that he was tired of Green dodging his fire, and went in for the kill with its horns. Having seen Percy do it once, he briefly considered trying to jump over, but he was rather fond of his kneecaps and didn't want them to have huge holes in them. Instead, he hit the deck, er, hill, and rolled between its thick bronze legs. Then, he whacked its belly with his club. No, even he couldn't call it a club with a straight face, it was a stick. About two feet long and fairly straight, the thing was about two inches thick with no handle. Still, it made a descent dent in bull one's chassis, if metal animals had those.

Unfortunately for him, metal bulls didn't like being hit with sticks. As his face was within a foot of one of its legs, bull one decided that it would give _him_ a dent. Cue the unexpected savior, aka Percy. Yelling something in Greek, his friend sliced the poor cow's metal snout right off. Rolling out from under it, pausing to whack the leg that almost caved his face in, Green somehow managed to end up on his feet.

"Hey," said Percy, dodging a column of flame, then sprinting off to help someone else. Annabeth ran over too, along with someone very tall that he didn't know. Before he could wave 'hi,' he heard someone screaming. One of the Ares campers was on fire, and everyone else seemed to be too busy avoiding the same fate to do much of anything about that. Cursing himself, Green sprinted towards the living bonfire and grabbed his still-flaming hand, swearing a little in Greek. He had no idea what he was saying, but he didn't really care. Finally, he jumped into the lake, pulling the Ares kid in with him. Of course, he couldn't just lay there at the bottom and wonder why he was so stupid that he had grabbed someone who was on _fire_, he had to grab the kid, who he suddenly realized was named Eric, again. He'd stolen Green's dessert once.

Shoving a soggy Eric onto dry land, he decided that now would be an excellent time to collapse in utter exhaustion. Too late, he realized that doing that would probably lead to being unconscious. Ah well.

* * *

When he opened his eyes and saw Percy and Annabeth looming over him with that concerned look they got when he fought monsters and then passed out. For some reason they always did that, but what was _really_ disturbing was that Clarisse was looming right there with them, looking a bit less concerned. Well, she looked worried, but worried that he hadn't gone into a coma and died, not the other way around. He grabbed Percy's outstretched hand and stood, returning Annabeth's 'What the _heck_ were you doing unconscious' look glare for glare.

On the long trudge back, the question he had most dreaded was asked, by Percy, who sounded like he probably only wanted to know so he could send them flowers.

"Green," Clarisse told him, turning slightly pink.

"No," said Annabeth, "seriously, who hit you?" Hey, he could be violent sometimes if he wanted! He'd beat up the Nemean Lion. Granted, it had nearly killed him in the process, but still. Suddenly, he realized that it had probably only run off because it didn't think it was worth the splinters just to eat some random mortal… that explained a lot.

"I'm serious," she replied, the flush in her cheeks deepening. Apparently the only thing that would embarrass her about a black eye was that the mute wimp gave it to her. He really hated children of Ares sometimes. Clarisse started glaring at him even more, and if he hadn't been on the receiving end of _Hades' _evil glare he'd probably have run away screaming… well, not screaming, but wanting to scream. It didn't help that Percy couldn't seem to stop laughing.

Changing the subject is difficult when you can't speak, but he managed to get his point across by poking Percy in the shoulder and nodding in the direction of the big guy who he didn't know.

"Oh," Percy explained, "That's Tyson." Very helpful.

"He's a Cyclops," Clarisse added. Oh. _Oh._ A story came to mind that Thalia had told him once, about her, Annabeth, and that _traitor_ almost being eaten by a Cyclops. It was a pity Luke escaped. Still, why was he inside the camp? Well, maybe Cyclopes were like centaurs. Chiron was radically different from most of his kind, at least as far as Green knew. Tyson didn't _seem_ very bloodthirsty.

"So?" Percy asked, sounding ready to give her another black eye. Well… it did seem kind of important, like you wouldn't want to give him cool shades for his birthday or anything. And if he wasn't imagining things, it seemed not even Annabeth could shake off almost being lunch at age seven, because she was doing quite a bit of glaring herself, mostly at Tyson.

Finally, Clarisse of all people diffused the tension. "Alright, let's find Tantalus and tell him what's happened." Who?

"Tantalus?" asked Percy.

"The activities director." WHAT?! No one ever told him _anything_.

_Well, you never tell them anything either,_ came the usual sarcastic drawl of… Greg.

_I don't have much of a choice. Since when do we have a new activities director?!_

_I don't know, people don't tell me anything either, in fact I'm starting to wonder if they think I'm sentient. Also, do you have some problem with my name?_

_This is no time for your sarcasm. Why is there a new director?_

_All the time is a time for my sarcasm, and I'd guess Chiron was blamed for what happened to Thalia._

_That's even more ridiculous than blaming _me_, and I didn't think that was physically possible!_

_Who said anyone here was sane?_

That was when Green smacked his head on the doorway of the big house, and he vowed to pay more attention to his surroundings. Maybe he could find Thalia, see how she was doing. He was scared of tiring her out though. Deciding he probably couldn't help anyway, he hiked back up the hill, like he'd done a thousand times. Now though, the grass was yellowing, dying slowly along with one of exactly two friends he could talk to.

This time of day there weren't any nymphs or satyrs, playing music, trying to heal the tree. Sometimes it really bugged him that everyone seemed to only worry about the tree because of the camp borders. It wasn't their fault, they probably didn't know she was still alive in there, but still.

He'd meant to lay back and relax a little, maybe tell Thalia about the little weed that had used his hand to draw the most amazing artwork ever to decorate a napkin, but he ended up just collapsing. Chiron was gone. Thalia was dying, and he couldn't scream at the world for being so stupidly unfair. He couldn't even curse Luke for being a lying scumbag. So, he did the only thing he could to vent his frustration. He started crying, quietly in the grassy shade that had once been his favorite place. The worst thing was, it _was_ his fault. He hadn't done it on purpose, but if he'd gone out to talk with Thalia he'd, well…

_Get killed, or kidnapped, or just beaten to a bloody pulp. There's no way you could fight Luke_

_You know Greg, the voice of reason really spoils pointless guilt._

_Good. That kind of thing annoys me to no end. Now, stop your pointless crying._

_That's easier said than done._

_Shut up and train. If you want to tear Luke in half next time you see him, you'll need to know how to use a sword._

Sighing, Green stood up and started walking towards the weapons shed. He did kind of want to tear Luke in half. Well, thirds would be better. In fact, chopped to pieces like his master would be a fitting end to that… meh, he didn't know foul enough swear words.


	3. The Ship

**Okay, I updated really quickly for some reason... but whatever.**

**DISCLAIMER: Yes, I'm Rick Riordan, and I have 200 hours in my days, during which I write thousands of fanfictions in many different styles about my characters. While also working on Blood of Olympus. Gimme a break.**

* * *

_You know,_ Greg said in a conversational tone, _I didn't think it was possible to be this bad at anything._

_Hey!_ Green shot back angrily. To be fair, he _had_ tripped over his own foot no less than six times, impaled himself, luckily with the celestial bronze that couldn't hurt him, and somehow managed to slice his own cheek open, even though he couldn't cut himself with his sword.

_I'm really, really sick of this. How about you try arch- OH GOD NO NEVERMIND!_ The last time Green had tried to shoot an arrow, well, he'd hit the target… sort of… He'd eventually stomped off in frustration and somehow shot himself. Naturally, the arrow went straight through him and made a bull's eye. Percy had given him a rather impressed look, and Annabeth had made him promise never to touch a weapon made of steel, _ever_.

_Well,_ he said, realizing that decades of practice wouldn't get him up to the fighting ability of the average Aphrodite camper, let alone Luke, _I do fight way better with a stick._

_So. Now, instead of giving you play by play instructions on boxing with furies, I can tell you how to fend off the Minotaur with a stick. I hate you sometimes._ Green grinned evilly, and ducked into the woods in search of a quality weapon. Finally, he came across the most deadly-looking stick he'd ever seen. Smooth as satin, well he'd never actually seen satin, but he figured it was pretty smooth, six feet long and just the right thickness to fit into his hand.

_I'm like Little John in Robin Hood! I have a quarterstaff!_

_Unlike Little John though, you actually are little._

_Shut up!_ The sad truth was, he hadn't grown an inch. Not one little millimeter. The _really_ sad thing, even worse than not growing, was that everyone else did. Annabeth was… taller than him. That was depressing.

_Okay. Now… I don't think this is physically possible… but maybe you should have a spotter in case you accidentally push that stick through your ears. _Greg didn't sound like he was kidding.

As it turned out, he was pretty good with a quarterstaff. He couldn't hit very hard, but he did manage to beat up one dummy in the arena.

_It is time, my pupil. You must battle one of your peers. I hear Jodi Davis from Demeter has the flu._ Greg was enjoying this way too much. Of course, he didn't actually have a chance to have the fluff beaten out of him by Jodi Davis. The conch blew for campfire.

Unlike everyone else, Percy and Annabeth had actually filled him in on some of the details, like how Tantalus was apparently the spirit from the underworld that was surrounded by food and water but couldn't eat or drink it. If he really was evil enough to merit that kind of treatment, Green wasn't that thrilled by the idea of meeting him. In hindsight, he realized how he'd managed to miss such a crucial piece of camp news. Since punching Clarisse, he'd been avoiding camp. Kids were starting to throw him occasional sidelong glances, and he didn't want to hit anyone else. Still, really? Usually, he just walked into the dining pavilion without making eye contact with anyone, grabbed some food, and ran off to train, or talk with ancient, wise oaks. He didn't have ADHD like Percy, but he still couldn't stand more than a few minutes of their slow, steady way of talking. Those guys had all the time in the world, apparently.

At campfire, there was the usual awful corny singing that he definitely wouldn't have put up with without his two human friends next to him. He had exactly three human friends. How sad. Anyways, Green managed to stay awake until Percy and Annabeth announced their Plan. The word Plan needed a capital "P" because it was brilliant, phrased so that Tantalus couldn't refuse, _and_ it was designed to save Thalia. It was all he could do to keep himself from jumping up and hi-fiving the both of them.

_Finally, _Tantalus agreed to send them on a quest. Hopefully Percy and Annabeth would get that he would chain himself to one of their ankles and throw away the key if they didn't let him come. Then… "…will you take on this quest, Clarisse?" Well, his life sucked. Okay, he'd _deal_ with Clarisse, he didn't _care,_ and why was he bothering? It would take less than six seconds to convince the two masterminds of this plan to take on their own secret quest, even if he couldn't talk!

* * *

Somehow, it was taking way more than six seconds of hand-flapping to convey what he was trying to say. Okay, he'd have to do it. Green had been meaning to tell Annabeth, in writing obviously, about Thalia. Then, the tree had been poisoned, and he didn't want her to watch her friend die _again_. Still, if it would convince them, he should do it. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to have any paper. Before he could think of something to do, they both peeled off towards their separate cabins, leaving him standing there in the middle of the path. Crud.

Green decided that maybe he should walk down to the lake. Curfew was fast approaching, but he was still leaning on his staff and he thought he could outrun a harpy fairly easily. He'd done it before, when he couldn't sleep. Which was to say, he'd done it many times, nearly every other night. Maybe the water would help clear his thoughts.

_Good luck with that,_ Greg told him. He'd need it. The possibility was dawning on him that he might have to team up with his least favorite child of his least favorite god after all. Who he'd punched in the face. Maybe he could just strike out alone. Most monsters would just ignore a random mortal roaming around. But… what if Percy and Annabeth _did_ decide to run off on their own after the fleece? He'd need to be prepared. Jogging over to Demeter and snatching a pencil and some paper, he made his way to one of his favorite trees. It was an oak, but it didn't talk much at all. Instead, it liked to mumble incoherently. When he didn't try to focus on what it was saying, it made for a comforting background. Could trees go senile?

Ten minutes later, he'd written two lines.

_'I am comming. Peeriod,' _and _'I wont attrackt monsterrs aneeway.'_ Perhaps he shouldn't have jumped out of a window when they tried to school him; his spelling needed some serious work. Worn out by even those short lines, Green leaned back and listened to the quiet murmuring of his perch.

_Nomnilunimumigusimuminemn… Shouldimintyniminum… Herminumniesgifniumnies…_

Green's quiet reverie was broken by a shout. It almost sounded like…

"Help! Monsters!" came Percy's voice from the beach. Leaping out of his tree and landing on his heels with a small _crack_ that sent pain shooting up his legs, he sprinted off in the direction of his friend.

Percy looked fine. He acted fine. Had he been replaced by some kind of shape-shifting monster? Were there any of those in Greek legend? If this were a horror movie, Percy was definitely about to kill him, Annabeth, and Tyson. Green was snapped out of his thoughts when he spotted several duffel bags that his demigod friend definitely did not own. Clearly, either a god was at work here or the pod people needed four huge bags' worth of supplies to turn demigods.

It was established that Hermes, the god of messengers, had told Percy to board the cruise ship in the distance. It was also established that Tyson was not going. At least, that was what _Annabeth _had decided, but Percy and Tyson had different ideas. Wonderful, how was he going to mediate _this _one? The thing was, he definitely understood why Annabeth didn't want the Cyclops to come along. Still, Green had a soft spot for the big guy, and if anyone could disprove the idea that all Cyclopes liked eating people, it was Tyson. So, he stayed quiet. Eventually, the harpies forced the four of them to book it, and their kindergarten-aged monster friend couldn't stay behind or he'd be eaten. That was one way to solve an argument.

The hippocampi that surfaced, at least according to Annabeth that was what they were called, were probably the most beautiful creatures he'd ever seen. Ever. And the four illegal questers got to _ride _them. This day was taking turns in positive directions. Once they reached the ship, a nagging sense of something very wrong started in his gut.

_No people. None. Ship this size, there ought to be at least one person looking for the bathroom right about now. Or a night watchman. Do cruise ships have those?_ Green knew Greg was right, there was something wrong with how eerily quiet it all was. Still, a demigod, or mortal, needed his/her sleep. He leaned his new weapon against the wall of one very deserted cabin, shut his eyes and tried _really hard_ to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Evidently, he had managed to fall asleep, because he woke up to the sound of a creepy announcement in an Australian accent informing everyone about today's… disemboweling practice? Lovely. Standing up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he grabbed his stick, no, quarterstaff, and peeked out the door. Many dazed looking zombie-passengers were wandering around, talking in flat, disinterested tones about how much fun they were having. Wonderful.

Soon after their alarming wake-up call, they passed a door, and then it all went wrong. Tyson, who apparently had some super-human hearing, began recounting a conversation he heard behind the door, in the _exact tones_ of the people talking. One of those people was _Luke_. He knew about how Cyclopes could mimic peoples' voices, but it was way creepier in person, especially as he was mimicking the voice of Green's least favorite person in the entire universe.

Naturally, they were found out. And, just to add insult to injury, there was the whole _we overheard our enemies talking about how they knew we were listening in and still got caught_ cliché, which was funny in movies but really embarrassing in life. Meanwhile, that familiar burning, leaden sensation was building in his gut again, and maybe if he was lucky he could give Luke a black eye too. His most powerful weapon seemed to be the fact that no one believed he could ever hurt them. It took them by surprise when he attacked.

As the traitor went on and on about his evil plans, monologueing on top of everything else, the rage built in Green until he just couldn't stand it anymore. Luke's words, the defiant replies of Percy and Annabeth, who seemed to be taking this whole thing very personally. Gee, why could that be? Still, if he thought he couldn't possibly be any angrier…

"You poisoned Thalia's tree!" Annabeth yelled, less angry than she would be if she knew the whole story, but still somewhat less than civil.

"Yeah, I poisoned the tree. What of it?" What of it. _What of it. WHAT OF IT?!_ If he didn't do something, he would explode. Right then, he would've sold his soul to send Luke's horribly maimed body right down into Tartarus, and laugh maniacally the whole time. But he couldn't. He couldn't yell at Luke that she was still alive, still conscious, and dying slowly _because of him,_ and she'd been his _friend,_ and Annabeth and Grover. All of them, stabbed in the back. Somehow, Luke had still managed to delude himself into thinking anyone in their right mind would _ever_ join his cause, without first being a pathetic excuse for a human being, but he couldn't say that. He couldn't even scream in frustration, howl at the world, and the rage just kept building inside.

Finally, he opened his mouth and released all the rage and fire within into a primal cry so loud it hurt his ears, and burned his throat, but he didn't care. The sound wasn't even human, it was just an endless, wordless scream at Luke for existing, for befouling the world with his presence. He poured all his black rage and desire to rip out that _monster's_ throat, and leaped forward.

Within the red haze that was his vision, he was vaguely aware of the open mouth and wide eyes of Percy, the bemused expression that seemed the closest to utter disbelief that Tyson could manage, and just a blank look from Annabeth. He'd managed to shock her so much she'd forgotten how to look speechless. As for Luke, it took him five whole seconds to realize that that wimpy little mute kid seemed to be going for his throat.

Green managed to wrap his hands around one very evil neck, and had begun to wring it with all the strength he possessed, plus several gallons of adrenaline, before Luke's goons stepped in. He managed to see with pleasure that his target looked like he was in at least a _little_ pain before he was smashed against a wall and his vision went black.


	4. The Raft

**Okay, I have nothing to say, so let's just move on to the disclaimer, shall we? .-.**

**DISCLAIMER: I AM TOTALLY RICK RIORDAN! AND NO, I WILL NOT CLEAN UP ALL THIS SARCASM ON THE FLOOR. I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS ME WHO SPILLED IT!**

* * *

When he opened his eyes and found that he was surrounded by brilliant white light, Green knew he was dead. It was a shame, he'd never spoken a word. He'd never gotten his memories back either. A sudden chill passed down his spine as he realized he didn't like _any_ of his choices for afterlife, while the whole point of all this heroism was supposedly to find a place in Elysium. Then, he realized that if he was dead, his head _really_ shouldn't hurt this much. Or his arms. Or… well, it seemed like his entire body was having a very unpleasant contest to see which nerve could hurt most.

"Ouch," he groaned.

For some reason, Percy and Annabeth were staring at him. Wait, had he just said that out loud?! Then, she started giggling. _What alternate universe did we end up in?_ Green wanted to ask, but then Percy started laughing too, and Tyson joined in. The Cyclops didn't seem to have much of a clue what was going on either, but whatever.

"Your first word!" Annabeth managed, in between gasps for breath.

"…was ouch!" finished Percy, actually tipping over backwards.

"Thanks for that," Green said, more to hear what he sounded like than anything else. His voice was quiet, a relief after whatever animal noise he had made before, and slightly higher pitched than Percy's. It was softer than when he spoke to plants, but somehow much more down-to-earth, like it belonged in his ears as much as his other voice made its place in his mind.

"Where are we?" he asked, marveling at the ease with which the question tumbled free. Over a year of silence, and now it was as if he'd been talking the whole time.

"That is definitely not what I expected you to sound like," Percy told him. "I always thought you'd sound…"

"…higher pitched," finished Annabeth. Well then.

"But," Percy said, "to answer your question, we're on the escape raft." Duh.

"Yeah? I thought we were treading water," Green loved sarcasm even more out loud. "So, I think there's something you guys should know."

"Yes?" asked Annabeth, looking impatient.

"I can talk to plants." The silence stretched.

"Well that explains a lot," Percy said, sounding like his mind had been slightly blown. "Like how you always touch all the trees you pass… and where have you been sneaking off to the past year, it's been bugging me!"

"Um…" His first awkward pause! Glorious! "You know how Thalia got turned into a tree?"

Annabeth took this surprisingly well. She calmly demanded to know why he hadn't written anything before, and slowly seemed to comprehend the implications.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but…"

"LUKE!" There was that rage she'd been missing.

"Yeah, that was why I kinda…"

"Flipped out?" Percy offered.

"Tried to strangle him?" Annabeth suggested.

"Yeah."

"Green can talk now?" asked Tyson, looking excited. Annabeth winced, and Green decided that letting him come might be causing a bit of tension, even though he liked the guy. Crud. Then, he had an epiphany.

"AAAARRRGHH!" he screamed in frustration at the top of his lungs, making Percy jump a foot in the air and Annabeth start to wonder about his sanity. "I've wanted to do that for a long time now!"

"Any particular reason?" asked Annabeth, in exactly the same tone as when she demanded to know why he hadn't written her about Thalia.

"Well…" he took a breath, "there was that time when I tried like six times to tell you about the tree issue, and just ended up seeming creepy, and then when you guys insisted on eating Medusa's burgers, and pretty much every time Percy opened his mouth within a mile of Ares-"

Annabeth shot Percy a smirk at that. "And then, there was this apple that kept trying to turn me to the dark side."

"Uh… what?" asked Percy, sounding like his brain couldn't take how extra-weird the plant half of the world turned out to be.

"Yeah. It was all, 'hey, I bet you could show everyone up by stabbing them in the back,' and I was all, 'Kronos sends apples to recruit his warriors?'" As they were human, well sort of, Percy and Annabeth cracked up at this point. "But mostly I really wanted to do that since people started blaming me for poisoning the tree…"

Blank stares are very scary when you just suggested that people thought you were a traitor.

"Really?" asked Percy, sounding like he was starting to worry about the camp's sanity.

"That's why I hit Clarisse." More cracking up ensued.

"I can't believe you managed to land one!" Annabeth said, laughing some more at the memory of the daughter of Ares' red face.

"I think I took her by surprise." Percy gave him a fist bump. Being able to talk was awesome! Still grinning like an idiot and not really caring, Green leaned back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sunshine on his face. This was how life should be.

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**PLOT TWIST!**


	5. Under the Sea

**Does anyone want to make a summary? I guess I will soon... but just add one in the reviews! Anything would be better than mine :P**

**DISCLAIMER: Yes, there is indeed a person named Rick Riordan. He might actually go on this site occasionally, to see what people did with his story (I know I would), but... I'M NOT HIM! There. DISCLAMITORY!**

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Blue skies, dotted with fluffy white clouds stretched overhead. _Maybe_, Green thought, _the weather did reflect your mood sometimes._ Perhaps it was the thoughtful look on his face, or how quiet he was, but Annabeth scooted over. "Hey," she nudged him. "You okay?" _Okay?!_ He'd just learned how to talk, this was the best he'd felt in a while. A wide grin spread across his face, and he gave her a double-thumbs-up. "Okay, but… you can still talk right?" Green nodded, still smiling. "Um…" Oh, right.

"Yeah," he said. Out loud. He still hated Luke, but if they managed to steal the fleece and rescue Grover, he might not want to rip his throat out anymore.

"Okay," she said, "but you're being really quiet." He raised an eyebrow. "Not like before, but I'd expect you to be babbling nonstop right about now. Shrugging, Green glanced around, and froze.

"Land ho!" He shouted. Even his shout was soft, he probably wouldn't intimidate monsters all that much. But… he'd _always_ wanted to say that! And land there was, a huge coastline in fact, cut through by a river. Trees lined its banks, their leaves whispering in the breeze. Still, their presence begged the question… how was he still alive? Their raft had been out on the open sea for a long time, with not a tree in sight.

Sticking his hand in the water, Green found the answer. A strand of seaweed trailed from his forefinger to his wrist, wet and slimy.

_Hello. Thanks for keeping me alive!_ He told it, wondering if it really counted.

_No problem,_ it said in _the exact same tone Percy used_. That was the creepiest thing he'd ever heard!

_What did I do? _The poor little… whatever it was sounded ready to grow legs and dive overboard.

_No, it's just that you sound exactly like a human friend of mine, which I wasn't expecting…_

"Hey!" Percy waved his hand in front of Green's face, looking amused. "Talking to seaweed?" He nodded. Apparently, that last statement had been sarcasm, because Percy looked _very_ confused. He returned the strand to his natural habitat, thanking it, and was surprised by the medley of images that came from the water itself. Microscopes, the slides within, and tiny one-celled pieces flashed across his vision. Algae!

"Wait, you can talk to seaweed?" Annabeth piped in, looking like she was having trouble with this.

"It's a plant, isn't it?" He replied. "Also, it sounded exactly like Percy."

"Okay…" said demigod replied. Then, there was a thud. Three long spikes had appeared about three inches from Green's face, and a small cut was trickling blood down his forearm. Then, they shot back into the water as quick as they'd come. An attack like that would've scared him senseless regardless, but a large hole was now sending tons of seawater to board their raft, and he had never really learned to swim all that well. He could drag someone out of a lake, with naiads helping, but the ocean was much deeper. And the lake didn't have a sea monster, which probably wouldn't help him improve his breaststroke.

"Woah-" Percy started, but then a head emerged from the water. It was huge, bigger than Green's whole body, and slimier than the seaweed. Water streamed down its dark green scales, and when it opened its mouth it revealed three rows of teeth as sharp as Annabeth's knife. A barbed tongue, ending in a bony spike, flicked out of its mouth and stabbed Percy right in the chest, but as soon as it retreated under the water, the wound began to close. He didn't have his stick.

Well, this boat was going down anyway, so he ripped off a huge splinter from the side and hefted it. Barely managing to leap aside before the tail gave him a new mouth, he stabbed sideways, imagining the sinewy hide was Luke's face. The monster's blood was midnight blue and freezing cold, as flecks of it peppered his hand. Annabeth managed to slice off one spike on the end before it retreated into the water, darkening the surface.

Their raft, being rather badly damaged at that point, promptly sank. Green, having had very little experience treading water, followed suit. Strangely enough, drowning didn't feel all that bad. It was peaceful underwater, bubbles tickling his face and seaweed swaying in the current. Naturally, his scaliness had to go and ruin his death by trying to bite his head off. Remembering the Nemean Lion, he let it approach, not that he had much choice, and plunged his arm, spike in hand, down its throat. Buffeted by its thrashing, he barely managed to yank his arm lose, now without much of a weapon, before the jaws slammed shut. Red, human blood floated up from his arm in a huge purple cloud, mixing with the water.

Just as his eyes were closing, he felt Percy grab his injured arm, hard. The pain woke him up, and he began to kick as best as he could with his feet. Air, beautiful clear freezing air filled his lungs, along with a mouthful of water. Coughing, he was hauled onto the nearest bit of wreckage. Tyson seemed to be able to tread water without much effort, and Annabeth was clinging to her own plank of their raft.

Having a son of Poseidon on board is an excellent way to speed up a plank. Barely a minute had passed before he was crawling up onto the muddy banks of whatever state they were in. Pennsylvania? Meh.

"Everyone okay?" Asked Percy, looking around. They were, oddly enough.

"What did you do?" Annabeth demanded, "It came up again, but it just roared and twisted around." Her eyes drifted towards the bloody mess that used to be Green's right arm. "What happened?!"

"I stabbed it in the throat," he replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, "but I might need some bandages or something…" That was an understatement. All his skin below the elbow was dyed red from the shredded skin that was his souvenir. Each cut, and there were at least twelve, started shallow and deepened as they raked down his forearm. On the underside of his arm there were others, but they weren't nearly as bad, just scratches. Still… something should probably be done before he passed- he collapsed, Annabeth grabbing his good arm to steady him, eyes drooping shut.


	6. Mystery Donuts

**Er...**

**...**

**Plz dunz kill meh! I know I was on a really long hiatus... (REALLY LONG?! YOU WERE GONE FOR MONTHS!) yeah... but the next chapter is here |**

**and it is pretty long if I do say so myself. So, I just want to apologize for how ridiculously long it took for this to come up. I just got really V**

**unmotivated for some reason, so next time I try and pull any of this nonsense, just start yelling at me. Yup.**

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Pain is a terrible way to wake up, because you can't just slap a button and make it _shut up_. Green tried to ignore the throbbing in his arm (he was _really_ tired), but eventually he gave up and opened his eyes. He was surrounded by leaves and branches, which didn't fit. They'd been on a plank near the shore when he'd passed out, and now it looked like he was in some kind of lean-to.

"You're alive!" Percy's face loomed over him, still blurrier than he would have liked, and Green nodded. Which… probably wasn't the most intelligent response, but he _had_ been mauled by a sea monster. Speaking of which, he needed to see what exactly had befallen his right arm. If it was missing, he was going to strangle _someone_, he didn't care who, which would be pretty difficult with one arm, but he'd manage!

Either someone had laid a heap of bandages next to him, or he still had two arms. He began unwrapping them, wincing at the sight of blood on the bottom layers.

"Hey, are you sure you should…" Percy trailed off when he saw the flesh beneath the linen. Well, Green wasn't sure if they were linen, but he'd heard of linen bandages. The cuts weren't as bad as they had seemed before, which was good. The problem was that there were a _lot_ of them. It looked kind of like a crazed geometry teacher had carved them into his flesh, shrieking "PARALLEL LINES! PARALLEL LINES!" or something… wait, what?! He decided that he would check himself into the nearest mental institution if he ever made an analogy like that again, and continued staring at his arm. Each slice was perfectly parallel to the next, and they were about a centimeter apart. The deepest bits on the back of his hand were maybe two millimeters deep, which wasn't bad. He tried to lift his arm.

"Ah!" he yelped, letting his arm fall.

"You okay?" Percy asked. Green was sure that one day Percy would give him that concerned look and he'd just melt like a snowman in Death Valley. He nodded, deciding not to move his hand.

"Where are the bandages?" he asked, and Percy tossed them over to Green's left. He reached out, and missed. The white roll bounced off his head and landed on his chest. Great, his left hand was _completely useless_.

"Sorry!" Percy said, looking horrified.

"I'm fine. Didn't hit my arm." Green began wrapping white strips gingerly around the shredded skin. It looked worse than it was, but it was still pretty bad. Then, he tied the bundle around his chest, looping bandages behind his head so it made a crude sling.

"Hey, are you sure-"

"Yes." Shakily, Green stood, wincing as pain lanced up his arm. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was bearable. He would be worse than useless if he didn't do something about fighting with his left hand. Knowing him, he'd probably manage to whack his injured arm, but he didn't care. Well, not yet. He'd probably care quite a lot if he really _did_.

Just as he was about to leave the hut, he ran headlong into Annabeth. He somehow turned himself so that his left shoulder took the brunt of the collision, but he still nearly passed out again.

"Green!" She yelled, grabbing his left arm and dragging him upright. "What are you _doing_?!"

"Ouch…" was all he could seem to force out between his clenched teeth. Then, of course, Tyson charged through the opening, sending both of them sprawling. Green managed to land on his back, but the second shock was too much for him, and this time he _did _black out. When he opened his eyes again, Annabeth and Percy were standing over him, and Tyson had started bawling.

"_Ouch_." That had hurt. Obviously, but his brain was still a bit fried, and 'ouch' was all it could come up with. Still, it hadn't been Tyson's fault… well, it was Green's fault too, so he sat up and said, "It's okay big guy, I'm fine." Then he registered what Tyson was carrying. "Um… are those donuts?"

"Yes. Percy said to get donuts." What? WHAT?!

"That's it," he said, "I hereby _demand_ to see the chairman of the universe. WHAT?! WHY ARE THERE DONUTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST?! WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?!" Annabeth made an honest effort to keep a straight face, but Percy just laughed.

"Tyson, seriously," Percy said, once he'd composed himself, "where did you get those?"

As it happened, some idiot had opened a donut shop in the _middle of the forest_ and somehow hadn't gone out of business yet. That screamed monster so loudly that Green was having trouble reading the sign, and he didn't do the _absolutely obvious_ for a good thirty seconds. Hmm, there's a mysterious… uh… donut shop in the middle of the woods. Gee, it sure would be nice if there were someone around they could talk to who had been here for forty years or so…

_Hello._ Green told the tree next to him.

_You need to leave. Now._ It replied, sounding like it was trying not to panic.

_What now?_ He asked, more tired than afraid. Ugh, when this was over he was just going to hibernate until next summer, when someone dragged him out of his cave or whatever and told him to head in X direction for Y days with Percy and Annabeth to find N object or person. That seemed to be how these things went.

_Hydra!_

_YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! _Green shrieked, fully aware that it was, but sort of hoping it would be like 'Yeah, I'm kidding. You should go eat some donuts now."

"Hydra," He stated without expression. There was no scream loud enough, and their many-headed friend might hear him.

"WHAT?!" Apparently the others hadn't yet accepted that sometimes there just wasn't any way to do the situation justice by volume.

"Plan. Now," he told Annabeth.

"What? You guys have to help too, you know!" Green giggled, he just couldn't help it. He'd remembered his plan for Hydra slaying, which was "suitably insane" and totally wouldn't work, that he'd worked out beneath Thalia's tree. OH GOODY! There weren't any sacrificial braziers around here, but...

"Annabeth, how fast do you think you could start a fire?" Hopefully, there were some matches in that shelter, or they were dead.

"Too late," Percy said. When the other two whirled around, they had to dive out of the way to avoid huge blasts of flame. Wait! Huge blasts of flame? Green grinned evilly, deciding once and for all that he was never going to do anything this stupidly insane again.

"Percy!" He yelled, "Stick your sword in its fire blasts!" That earned him an incredulous look, which he knew to mean, 'You finally lost it, huh?" He'd used it many times before. "That's how Heracles killed it! He burned the stumps!"

Despite thinking (for fairly good reasons) that Green was insane, Percy shoved his sword into the next blast of fire, wincing as tongues of flame licked at his hands. His next stroke lobbed off the nearest head with a dull thud, and they waited with baited breath… well, ran around screaming and trying not to be eaten, as the stump completely failed to grow a new head.

Laughing a bit too maniacally, Percy continued slicing his sword at the monster, occasionally plunging it into new fireballs. You would think it would stop breathing fire, but monsters were really not the sharpest tools in the barn. Then, all three of them were sent flying by a huge _bang_, and Green wondered whether modern hydras had learned to breathe dynamite too.

Then, he noticed a huge metal warship and shot to his feet, which took a while. He only had one arm and his legs hurt like crazy, so he wasn't too surprised. Staring at the ship, he noticed a very familiar and very ugly face, with one very, very beautiful black eye. Green reached out and grabbed the nearest stick. He'd need it.


End file.
